On g we smell of mourning, jk
Jahi Kijo Lendor and Addie Kae Mingilton

On g we smell of mourning, jk explores the intricacy and intimacy of going through some shit and moving forward. Scaling from exuberance to melancholy, Jahi Kijo Lendor & Addie Kae Mingilton spiritually and materially weave through the complexities of healing.


2021 was a terrifying time to start graduate school. In the wake of a global pandemic and a cultural revolution leaving home to the smallest state in the u.s was no small feat. As a minority things like continuing education can be a radical choice; often you find yourself as the first to do it in your family. It’s a joyous yet selfish decision. Walking away from the only way of life you’ve known and lived to pursue the unknown in times of the unknown is heartbreaking. To then find yourself constantly dangling over one cliff after another. The time that passes in the life you left behind becomes merciless. You miss the good times, the birth of your first nephew… and the bad... Unexpected loss of a beloved uncle… Coming back you find yourself gathering the pieces of your loved community, your family, your blood, and trying to make up for the time you were away—loss, shame, regret, and grief. Caught in limbo in a ghost of memories and experiences you can’t account for all—for what? And. So. We. Mourn.


Can you smell our loss? Can you hear it? Can you taste it? Touch it? Can God?


The poignant query echoes through Kendrick Lamar's words:


“Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?

Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle

Why God, why God do I gotta bleed?

Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet

Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?

Earth is no more, why don't you burn this mufucka?”


Only sometimes do we hear about scent representing emotion. Humankind ignores most senses other than sight and sound. Sent and taste are often neglected as means of communication, yet both can convey comfort, distress, nostalgia, joy, and sorrow. We don’t always know what attracts one to another, and since seeing isn’t always believing it can come down to simply trusting the essence of familiarity in hostile territory. We all change in different environments and situations as time moves forward. Mourning isn’t as easily conveyed as a smile or a frown but a feeling, Octavia Butler speaks of pheromones in her created worlds as something more neglected to create communication among interspecies.


Sometimes shit gotta be raw. This is one of those times.


November 19th-December 17th, 2023